Bringing up Bebe

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My most recent read was Pamela Druckerman's Bringing Up Bébé: one American mother discovers the wisdom of French parenting.  In addition to being slightly obsessed with culture française, I also have 3 children who I sometimes wish behaved a little better, and paid more attention to their surroundings.  The French have a saying for this: "sois sage fais pas trop de betise," which translated, is basically: "be wise and don't do too many silly things."  But apparently, the French expect their children to behave, to be respectful of others, and to pay attention to what is going on around them, while making wise and appropriate choices about how to act.  Living in a culture where parents expect to have to micro-manage their child's every move, thought, and decision, this book was truly refreshing.  It totally changed my perception and ideas about the best way to parent.  Maybe teaching children to be autonomous while providing firm boundaries is the single most important thing a parent can do for their child.  The further I got into this book, the more I realized that the American way of "coddling" children is really doing them (as well as the parents!) a great disservice. I will never look at parenting the same way again!

If you'd like to know more about this book, here is the summary from the publisher:

The secret behind France's astonishingly well-behaved children. When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has a baby in Paris, she doesn't aspire to become a "French parent." French parenting isn't a known thing, like French fashion or French cheese. Even French parents themselves insist they aren't doing anything special. Yet, the French children Druckerman knows sleep through the night at two or three months old while those of her American friends take a year or more. French kids eat well-rounded meals that are more likely to include braised leeks than chicken nuggets. And while her American friends spend their visits resolving spats between their kids, her French friends sip coffee while the kids play. Motherhood itself is a whole different experience in France. There's no role model, as there is in America, for the harried new mom with no life of her own. French mothers assume that even good parents aren't at the constant service of their children and that there's no need to feel guilty about this. They have an easy, calm authority with their kids that Druckerman can only envy. Of course, French parenting wouldn't be worth talking about if it produced robotic, joyless children. In fact, French kids are just as boisterous, curious, and creative as Americans. They're just far better behaved and more in command of themselves. While some American toddlers are getting Mandarin tutors and preliteracy training, French kids are-by design-toddling around and discovering the world at their own pace. With a notebook stashed in her diaper bag, Druckerman-a former reporter for the Wall Street Journal sets out to learn the secrets to raising a society of good little sleepers, gourmet eaters, and reasonably relaxed parents. She discovers that French parents are extremely strict about some things and strikingly permissive about others. And she realizes that to be a different kind of parent, you don't just need a different parenting philosophy. You need a very different view of what a child actually is. While finding her own firm "non", Druckerman discovers that children-including her own-are capable of feats she'd never imagined.

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